Most actors, well let’s be honest, most people are drowning in their own excuses and see everything through that filter. And a majority of the time you don’t even know you’re doing it.
I talk about this a lot in terms of our acting careers. You fall prey to your excuses which causes self-sabotage and playing small.
The excuses you make can keep you from your truth and will create a reality which you keep resisting.
Why do we do this? First off, your mind is a freaking liar! You tell yourselves lies all the time and you believe them. The lies your mind tells you, keeps you playing safe and small.
All of your excuses are generated from the mind and if you look closely, all are based in lack.
What are your top excuses right now?
Pay attention and notice what keeps coming up.
When a new self-tape opportunity with a CD appears, what do you think?
When you watch the news, what do you tell yourself?
When you see what other people are accomplishing, how does that make you feel?
Your excuses are based in your ‘deep wounds’ or limiting beliefs. These were formed when you were super young.
This time we are in, everyone is raw and sensitive. Limiting beliefs are on the surface right now. Do you notice you get triggered more easily than usual, or feel more emotional, or maybe your partner seems more aggravating? ☺
That’s because, in times of trauma and crisis, everything feels heightened. Of course, you’re getting triggered even more and feeling sensitive.
Becoming aware of your excuses and your limiting beliefs now, in the moment, you can better learn how to manage them and move through them.
I want to share with you my 4-step system to reframe your excuses:
- Identify the limiting belief – Only by becoming aware of your excuses and what comes up for you in the moment, can you reframe them.
- Acknowledge they are not facts – You know your brain is a liar. When the limiting belief arises, you get to thank your brain for the info and acknowledge it is not a fact. It is merely an opinion formed when you were young that up until now you have been choosing to buy into.
- Try on a different belief – This is the reframe process. You get to look at each excuse and write the opposite of what it is, from a place that feels authentic and not untruthful. If I feel I am not enough, and I just simply write, I am enough – I’m not going to believe that! It feels false. The key here is gets to feel truthful.
Excuse: If I had better connections, I’d have the career I want.
Reframe: I am constantly expanding my network and connecting with folks who can help me pursue my goals and who I can help in return
- Take on a new action – Thoughts become beliefs and beliefs get solidified in our actions. Once you reframe the belief you get to put it in action. I mean right away, immediately if you can. Change your thought, change your behavior.
Looking at the above excuse example, here are some actions you could take:
- Reach out to a new industry person and ask them for a Zoom date or call
- Join a new online meetup group for industry folks
- Send a gratitude email to someone who supported you
You reframe the limiting belief into something that feels true and doable, then you find small actions you can take in the moment when the limiting belief arises to stop it in its tracks.
These 4 steps are a great rule of thumb when you feel off your game or life throws you curves. Find your truth and get in action by identifying what’s holding you back.
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” ― Jordan Belfort
