It takes a deep awareness of self to be an actor.
- Understanding your excuses and limiting beliefs (see last week’s article).
- Putting yourself on the line everyday as you share your talent, POV and your gifts.
- Delving into human psychology to understand characters or other people and what makes them tick.
- Assessing what makes you tick and your why.
Oh wait…that just sounds like being an aware and empathetic human being. Hmmm….
I’ve been noticing more and more how hard it is for my clients (and myself) to decipher between what is actually your authentic self and what is ego.
Recently, I gave a client feedback on her headshots. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear but I’m always honest and constructive. Life is too short not to be. And of course, I was going to provide her some solutions.
Her ego immediately kicked in and made “justifications” on to why she chose the headshots she chose. I watched as she ran through her litany of excuses. Actor-splaining to me why she was right.
We talked for a bit and as I dug a bit deeper and asked her more questions, she paused. She admitted she was afraid of getting new headshots and having them be wrong…again. She didn’t want to waste money she didn’t have.
She shed her ego, tuned into what she really felt and vulnerably shared it. How beautiful. You can only move forward from that place.
We tend to think of “ego” as this big grandiose part of ourselves. Ego is associated with narcissism and being full of oneself. Really, ego just wants us to be comfortable, hates change, and will do anything to defend itself to be right. Even if that means keeping you small and making excuses from fear.
Another client was asking me about joining The Actors Think Tank membership. He told me he felt like he could wait until he’d taken another class or two, so he felt really ready.
I gently asked him if that statement was coming from his truth. I asked him how many times he has said he wasn’t ready. How many times he used another acting class to keep him safe? How many times has that stopped him from moving forward into a larger arena?
His response was “Ouch.”
Then he laughed. He knew what I said felt truthful.
He realized that was just his ego talking. His ego protecting him and keeping him safe.
This came up for a me the other day when I watched a video on Systemic Racism Explained. First off, this video is incredibly clear and explains how in terms of opportunities and finances, systemic racism has been embedded in our ecosystem. I urge you to check it out if you haven’t already seen it.
In the video, they were comparing a black family to a white family. The white family was portrayed as wealthy.
My ego immediately kicked in and said – “Well, this is stereotyping all white people as wealthy and college-educated. My family was middle class/lower middle-class. They lived paycheck to paycheck their entire lives. My parents never went to college. My dad died with literally zero money in the bank and no life insurance. This isn’t a fair example. I’ve had to work hard to get where I am too.”
Then I paused. I turned inward and listed to my heart instead of my brain.
I realized, the point isn’t white people are wealthy and black people poor. The point is white people are given more opportunities. That is a fact. The system has favored and continues to favor white people because they are white. That is a fact. Even though I never came from wealth or lived in a wealthy neighborhood, my skin color automatically creates more and better opportunities.
I wanted to defend myself as not being a racist, but in doing so my ego wasn’t allowing me to see the truth and what was really at the heart of the video.
So, the big question is…. how do you detect if you’re viewing things through the lens of your ego or your authentic self?
Ask yourself why do I feel that way?
Why am I saying what I’m saying?
What am I really afraid of?
How will I be perceived if I think differently?
Never take your first answer as the truth. Dig deeper. Peel back the layers. Be curious. Think of your answer as something that gets to be dissected. Getting underneath it is the only way to really understand what is true or not.
If you’re making reactive decisions from ego, you will stay in the same place. You MUST find the truth to move forward and be proactive in your life and in this world.
And look, change is not comfortable. Your ego will fight you every step of the way. It’s time to eliminate your self-imposed limitations to tap into your greatness. You will only find that in your authentic self.
Want to dig deeper into changing your career trajectory?
Get a FREE 5 Day Trial to the The Actor’s Think Tank Membership
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and not sure what to do, well….I created a structure for you to be ready for when we’re back AND be cognizant of your feelings.
Here’s just a few things you’ll accomplish in The Actor’s Think Tank:
- build your brand
- define your passion
- examine your excuses and limiting beliefs
- tweak your marketing materials
- refine your casting profiles
- overhaul your IMDb
- do industry research
- create your headshot looks for your shoot this summer
- build your productivity systems
- create a social media strategy
- establish a contact management system
- craft your 30-second blurb
- design your agent/manager strategy
Get your Free 5 Day Trial so you can explore The Actor’s Think Tank, see the value and feel the support.
After that, membership is only $40/month.
When you join, you also get a monthly group coaching call over Zoom, a group monthly training on a specialized topic and you can ask as MANY questions as you want in the VIP FB group.
I’m here for you. Get your free trial HERE.
