OK, so you’re going along your day, checking things off your to-do list. You’re feeling pretty freakin’ good about yourself. 🙂 Then all of a sudden, you remembered the REALLY important email that you completely forgot to send.
Oh no! Panic. Fear. Despair. Anger.
Then…the dreaded voice.
“Well, you screwed that up… just like everything else.”
“Dammit, I can’t do anything right!”
“I’m such an idiot.”
“I didn’t deserve that opportunity anyway.”
What does your inner voice say when moments like that happen?
The #1 important thing to realize is – IT’S NOT YOU! You are not your mind. You just have this stupid inner critic (yeah, I said stupid) who lives in your brain, shares their colorful opinions and thinks they’re keeping you safe.
The question becomes – does this disembodied voice rule you?
Look, words resonate. They have an energetic frequency. The words you choose to use can dictate your happiness level as well as how you self-sabotage.
We get to remember that words form thoughts. Thoughts form beliefs. Beliefs translate into action. Therefore, the very words you use are the building blocks for what you think, feel and do.
Those negative words you say to yourself trigger your subconscious into a space of fear and lack. Who wants to live in that? Nobody!
Here are 5 steps to reprogram that stupid voice and stop the self-beat up once and for all.
1. Recognize your inner critic
First and foremost, you get to own the fact that that voice is not you. The words you use and the patterns you follow are sometimes modeled after what you learned as a kid. Is it the voice of your mom? Your
2. Name your inner critic
I invite you to give that inner voice a name. I mean, we already know it’s not you. So, tell “Betty” to stop talking and being mean because you’ve got an email to write. Seriously, name the voice, thank them for sharing, laugh at them if you need to because they do say some pretty funny things and move on. Creating that separation is vital to not spiral down into the negative feelings.
3. Remember feelings are fleeting
If the spiraling down into shame, fear or guilt does happen, guess what? Feelings come & go and ebb & flow. They’re fluid. Remind yourself that the dread or anger or whatever it is you’re feeling is temporary. That is a fact. Allow yourself to feel the feelings and know that you won’t feel this way forever.
4. Challenge your critic with opposing evidence
When we give the negative voice space and attention, man can we find a zillion reasons as to why it is right. The litany of things proving “Betty” right seems somehow endless. Again, this inner voice is keeping you small and safe. To break out of that, you get to challenge “Betty” with evidence that proves her wrong. When she says, “I’m so stupid I never do anything right”, you get remind this negative Nelly, I mean Betty, of how just yesterday you got a raise at work and cooked the best chicken piccata ever. Don’t buy into her bullsh*t. Stop it in its tracks.
5.
As you continue on this journey with your lovely inner critic, remember everything is your choice. Pay attention to the words your mind uses and choose a kinder option. Calling yourself an idiot, loser, dumb and the plethora of other terrible options is just plain mean. If your best friend talked to you like your inner critic, how would you feel? You’d probably kick them to the curb, right? Just like you don’t negative people in your life outwardly, you don’t need them in your head either. Choose to be kinder yourself.
To get started on getting rid of “Betty” once and for all, keep a journal for the next couple of weeks and jot down whatever your inner voice says when it goes on one of its rants. Follow the steps above and you’ll notice shifts in your mental talk that will provide you with ease and joy.
P.S. I apologize if you’re name is Betty 🙂
